Benched

Haidar had asked me today; How did I feel, being single? (and never having the experience of ever being attached.) I don't really remember what I had replied to her then.

But now that I'm thinking more about it though - the question inadvertantly had me recall an incident which happened 11 years ago.

I remember a soccer trial and an interclass soccer competition. It was a very exciting time for us as we had just completed our exams and these(competitions) were exclusive to Primary 5 students only. The Physical Education (P.E) teacher had set up a trial for us and everyone had a chance to have a spot kick from the penalty box.

I was waiting eagerly for my turn. I paced to and fro. The adrenaline rush was unbelievable. Unfortunately I was the last person in line and somehow the P.E teacher had a lapse in the order. He totally forgot about me. Of course I was livid and dumbstruck.

What about me? I haven't shown what I can do! I have so much to give. This is so unfair!

I cried and cried. It was pathetic. My best friend consoled me and said that he would somehow convince the others to give me a substitute's role. It never happened.

In anger, I cursed the team. I hope you rot you stinkers. Hope you lose big time.

Then I watched gleefully from the sidelines as my class was decimated/humiliated/humbled by their opponents. What have I done? I had condemned my friends solely out of spite and envy.

Maybe that's how I feel. Because that's what my subconscious is telling me.